Q: Um, what exactly is the Flame Archive©?
Q: I'm sorry, I'm one of those idiots. Could you please explain what a 'flame mail' is?
I'm sick of your questions. Here's what you came to see... The Flames.
| Title | Description | Author |
| Doom Flame | This was written to someone on Xband, a horrible video game modem. If you'll notice, every sentance in Imre's flame is an attack. Brilliant. | Imre Knausz |
| Doom Flame II | More flames to the same guy. This guy was just asking for it. | Gene Jones |
| Xband Flame | Making fun of something you know that people love; This is an all important tool in the art of flaming. | Gene Jones |
| Xband Flame II | This was the final flame to this particular Xband user. He stopped telling me that I was "dumb". | Gene Jones |
| Megadeth Flame | The flame that inspired us to create this page. | Imre Knausz |
| Your Homepage Sucks | Our constructive criticism of another homepage. This guy thanked us later. | Imre Knausz Gene Jones |
| We love Alternica | This was sent to illustrate an important point concerning the death of a metal great, Metallica. | Imre Knausz |
| Response to "We love Alternica" | This illustrates what happens when a guy named Kashif Goober Ali tries to tell you like it is. For refrence: The Gorgon is the campus literary arts magazine. | Gene Jones
Imre Knausz |
| Flamebait Example | Flamebait: An attempt to induce a response using very little substance, and a lot of meaningless attacking. Most flamebaits don't deserve responses. This is, in actuality, a very well thought out flamebait. Be warned, this may not be suitable for sissies. Also note that no email address was left, which is a common occurance in flamebait. | Anonymous |
| Mr. Replyall | I received a message one day that had nothing to do with me. This particular piece of mail was not only sent to me, but also about 1000 other email addresses on campus. One of those people decided to write back the original sender, which is fine. What isn't fine is when he decides to replyall instead of just reply... | Gene Jones Imre Knausz Special Guest Rich Gonyea |
You lousy worthless piece of shit. I am supreme at DOOM, no one even remotely comes within the same galaxy of my ingenious gameplay. If you think you can be anything more than a fly buzzing around my head, send me an e-mail, and I will consider beating you beyond belief. I hope you play PC DOOM (the only real DOOM) and not this X-Band FAGGOTRY! Come prepared with kleenex, diapers, and some monistat you fucking Super Nintendo SALLY! I hope you will take your beating like a man!
-*THE* DARK LORD
There is no such thing as a friendly game of Doom. It's all out carnage and destruction. If you don't see that, you aren't worthy to play such a perfect game. Did I mention that you are dumb? Why are you on xband? Why don't you just shove the money you spend on xband up a dogs ass. Its the same concept. Are you at least aware of what a rip-off xband is? BTW, you spelled later wrong. It doesn't have any numbers in it.
Your pall, Laurie
> "BUT...l also own DOOM for Sega Genesis, which l CAN say I kick ass in!!
Oh, so you're a Genesis boy, huh? I hope you can keep track of all those colors on the screen at once! Do you find yourself talking in garbled speach all the time just like your Genesis? I used to be on Xband until I realized that its just there to rip you off and waste your time. How does it feel to be owned by a machine? Why dont you get some sunshine, you dumb brick! Do you even know what year it is? Moron.
Your friend, *Bean*
What some moron said in his last verbal diarrea:
>"What took you so long to reply??" (drip, drip)
Sorry, I'm not some machine's bitch. I'm not a shut-in. I notice the changing seasons. Whenever I check my e-mail, I can see that you're on xband. Is that little shit-box so important? I wonder what would happen to you if it just didnt work for a week. You would have to go outside (Gasp!) and converse with people.... IN PERSON! (the horror!) Remember that xband commercial that came out in magazines awhile back? The one about the guy at home that doesn't take showers or ever leave the house? Was that you in the ad? Just wondering. Please dont ever write to me again. Your letters attempting to hide your addiction disgust me, as do you.
Your friend, *Bean*
Dear Honorable Sir,
As I was reading through section 2.1 of the MAY FAQ, I couldn't help
but notice your blatant ignorance concerning the spelling of MEGADETH,
in case you're slow (and you obviously are) that's M-E-G-A-D-E-T-H not
megadeAth! What are you some kind of an idiot? Is it too much to ask
to spell things right, IN A FAQ??? Are FAQs supposed to have typos and
misspellings? Did I miss something?? I mean, this is just beyond me, I
am still struggling to grasp this concept of your idiocy. Please mail
me with any sort of clues so I can better understand your demented
reasoning (i.e. any medication you're taking, injuries to the cranium,
ect...).
I don't require an apology (this time), only that you fix that
retarded mistake of yours (jackass). I will check your page daily and
send you more constructive criticism. Don't you EVER attempt to
disgrace ANY awesome heavy metal band again, you simpleton!
My God Man...
My computer almost crashed because of all the moving shit that you have on your
page. The only way someone would be able to safely view your page is if they're
on an SGI (dummy). And even then, I can see steam coming out of 'em...
sheeesh...
Also, your links are the same color as your text (dumbass). I cant tell which
is which! If you spent more time working on the content of your page instead
of downloading every available moving gif on the net, then everyone could enjoy
your page a little more. And another thing, get rid of that _-*EXTREMELY*-_
annoying scrolling text on the bottom, we can't tell where the links are gonna
go without clicking on them (retard).
For examples of well organized and designed pages please refer to the following
addresses:
http://www.rpi.edu/~jonesg/
http://www.rpi.edu/~knausi/
Thank you in advance,
Gene & Imre
[For the record, the offending homepage is at the following URL: http://www.rpi.edu/~shenfm/]
Personally I am apalled at the pathetic attempt at an album that Alternica tried to sneak by us. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!?!?!? I thought the Black album sucked, and I thought they realized this too, so I was hoping for a return to the old TRUE metallica. But no. They have completely sold out with this... SHIT! Metallica is a complete fucking bunch of pussies! what is this FAGGOTRY?!?!? they dress like fags, wear makeup, and write really crappy love songs. Thats what I call them cause that's what they are compared to the old Metallica, from the boogie-woogie styled 2x4 to that faggot country song, NONE of these songs are worth SHIT! they all suck beyond belief! And as for those fuckin' retarded ignorant dimwits who think this is an evolution for them (metallica does what they want and that's what makes them cool, remember how people freaked out when they put Fade to Black on Lightning), BULLSHIT! it's a de-evolution! I am so disgusted with them, IT'S OVER - *FUCK* METALLICA!!! I AM ASHAMED TO HAVE ONCE BEEN A METALLICA FAN!!! METALLICA IS DEAD LONG LIVE ALTERNICA!
>i just wanna ask you a question>what do you think alternative is
No, thank you.
We apologize for the delay of this response, Goober. We needed all of Winter Break to try to interpret/comprehend your misguided attempt at an email.
First things first, let us clear up the definition of "alternative." The term ALT ernative encompasses all that is crap. What we mean to say is, we need to thank Nirvana for starting this landslide towards noise. Nirvana showed us that one doesn't necessarily need to "know" how to play their instrument to be POP ular. When you feel the need to listen to something other than good music, you have an ALT ernative, get it? ...Nevermind, of course you don't...
BTW I just wanna ask you a question
what do you think proper punctuation is
according to you it doesn't exist
It's obvious from the bands that you mentioned, you have no idea of what constitutes quality music, and what constitutes mule dung. So we'll skip telling you why Primus is indeed POP ular and certainly not ALT ernative, since whatever we say will fly right through your polluted mind.
> >-- > -->Kashif Xxx<-- > > | Running from the evil | > | that sits inside me | > | No matter what the kill | > | I'll burn, never free | > > "xxxx@rpi.edu" > http://www.rpi.edu/~xxxx >
Do the world a favor, Goober: Leave the terrible poetry to professional alternative bands and the staff of the Gorgon. And one more thing, the day someone makes any sense out of your homepage is the day Green Day becomes POP ular.
LA ter,
Gene and Imre
Say something.....
OkaY! You guys are the two biggest prick pulling, pillow biting, butt licking, cock sucking, cum slurping, ass chowing, anal invading, rectal roaming, beastial necrophilia practicing, NO PUSSY GETTING, ass bandits I've ever seen in my whole fucking life. But this isn't a flame you flamers, but if we were gonna flame you, we'd start off like this:
Your momma's got such a fat, slurping, weather-beaten, flatulating, gushing, dripping, stinking, green moss growing, flapping in the breeze, big lipped, puss popping, crust breaking, scab licking, maggot infested, jism dripping GASH from me shoving soo mush SHIT up it that when she gave birth to you, she had no labor pains, and you just slipped right the fuck OUT onto the floor while she was sucking my cock... so I kicked you in the head.
I would say more, but you're mom's here to clean my toilets.
On Wed, 1 Apr 1998, Anson "Replyall" Xxxxx wrote: > BCC, CDC? > >
Hey dick...
What makes you think that I would care what inane fucking questions you might have for that idiot that sent the original email. Are you mentally retarded? Everyone on that email list is now dumber for reading your pathetic attempt at a question. If I fail my test tomorrow because of this, be assured you will be the top name on my "make these people's lives a living hell" list. Can I make this point any clearer to your grossly feeble, inferior, walnut sized excuse for a brain. Be proud, you've restored my faith in the capabilities of massive head wound victims. Don't take this personaly, but fuck off. Don't write a reply to this letter back to everybody. I made it easier for you by not including them in my retort.
Respectfully,
Gene Jones
