Political Scuffle

by Ben Levine

(This problem takes off where "The Weal and Woe of Campaign 96" stops. Try the earlier problem first, to get warmed up.)

This is maybe the world's most bad-ass hyperproof problem, version two. This one comes with a situation and twenty-six statements. Most of them will even help you to solve the problem. The scenario:

Someone in Washington, DC, doesn't like me, judging from the postmarks on all the hate mail I've been receiving recently. Could it be either of my two friends from that area? Mabye it's one of the political candidates left over from Campaign 96. Could be the Unabomber ... he's escaped from federal custody, and it sort of behooves you to figure out where he's hiding, as well. Mabye it's just some random insane person from the streets of the city. All you have to do is figure out who doesn't like me.

What the given lines mean, in English:

1. The situation. I've kept all the political candidates, but changed a few of their names for my convenience. Took out the voters, and replaced them with real people:
   • a is that crazy guy who hangs around the White House with a rifle and occasionally takes a shot at it.
   • b is me, Ben.
   • d is my friend Dan, who lives in DC and is a staunch Democrat as well.
   • e is another friend in the DC area, Sugar, who lives in Arlington.
   • f is the Unabomber. He's escaped federal captivity! But where is he?
2. Just a definition of a voter. Doesn't get used anywhere, really.
3. Definition of a candidate. Nothing new here either. This does get used, though, several times.
4. Democratic candidates are happy.
5. Someone out there doesn't like me. The main goal is to find out whom.
6. I don't like someone out there who's the shame shape as I am.
7. At most, there's only one thing that I dislike.
8. Everything in the world likes itself.
9. An awkward way to say that the Unabomber hates all the candidates.
10. Another holdout from Campaign 96; I don't believe this has any use.
11. I like both of my friends. Simple enough.
12. There's exactly one person that doesn't like me.
13. The Democrats and Republicans all hate each other. (Hmm...) This is split up into two halves, one for each. It's a very complex sentence, but once you understand what it says, it's no problem.
14. All the candidates, and everyone located in front of them, dislike at most two different objects.
15. A restatement of 14, because Hyperproof choked on simplifying it.
16. The crazy white house shooting guy hates at most one cube. (Probably just fixated on the White House itself.)
17. Two objects in the same column always like each other, unless one of them is the crazy guy (he's crazy!) or Jack Kemp, who doesn't really contribute a whole lot to a campaign that never had a prayer anyways. (This really starts to get confusing.)
18. Sugar (e) likes everything that's the same shape as she is.
19. If two objects are the same shape and the same size, then they like each other. (This one would reduce to 8, but who's counting?)
20. There exists two different objects in the same column that both dislike Ross Perot.
21. In fact, if two objects both hate him, then they must be in the same column.
22. The white house shooter guy likes all the candidates. Weird. Mabye they give him something to shoot at, and a reason to live.
23. The crazy guy (a) and the Unabomber (f) both hate the White House.
24. Everyone but Ben (b) is adjacent to something.
25. Ross and his running mate (n9 and n8) both like exactly the same people.
26. Everyone Ben doesn't like, likes him.

Man, what a mess.

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